This made me laugh...I wanted to share.
Summary of My Last Year on the Computer
***I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poison in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
***Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
***I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
***I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
***I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
***I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
***I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
***Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
***Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
***I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl into my backseat when I'm pumping gas.
***I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
***I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
***And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face,disfiguring me for life.
***I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be nicked with a needle infected with AIDS.
***I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
***I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
***I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
***I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .
***I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
***Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites me.
***And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
***I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
***If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...Have a wonderful day....
***Oh, by the way.....A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their email with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now; it's too late.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
This made me laugh...I wanted to share.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I think I must have left you with a little bit of a cliff-hanger ending there, what with me saying we were off to move, then no word from me for a few days. Visions of the moving truck careening off the highway may have entered your mind. Not so, not so! We arrived here safe and sound as planned, ready to start our new life.
The first few days after we got here was acclimating ourselves to our new environment, unpacking, getting the kids adjusted to their new surroundings. It's an adjustment, but so far, so good.
School started Monday. I know it's only been a few days, but, what a change.
After only 3 days my son seems to be happy - maybe happier - than I've seen him in school ever before. This is a little boy who has been attending fairly rigorous programs for 3 years now, so he knows school. Monday morning when I walked him into his classroom his teachers were right there, calling him by name, bending down to look him straight in the eye, gently directing him. They told him that they were excited to see him, and that they were happy he was there. I found myself walking out with such different feelings from my previous departures on the first day. Instead of wondering if he was in good hands, I just knew he was. It was a very liberating feeling. When I walked out I was thinking about other things - the day ahead, my schedule for the week, errands I needed to run. And except for a few fleeting thoughts about him during the day, my mind wasn't consumed by him/school/him/school/him/school. For once.
Son #2 is also adjusting, but it could take him longer to get used to things. He cried when I left on the first day and told me the second day was "worse than the day before". I don't know what to think about this just yet, but I suspect that part of his reaction is normal feedback for a 3-almost-4 year-old not used to school, dealing with a move and not knowing anyone around him.
More to report later, but in the meantime, thanks for checking on me and us. We are doing fine and I'll hopefully find my camera cord soon so I can download pictures to share.
Posted by Meg at 6:39 PM
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Tomorrow is my big move day, so this is just a quick hello. We are up to our ears in boxes, friends! When I arrive at my destination and settle in a bit I'll fill you in on what's been happening.
In the meantime, please check out Mary's blog. She has posted pictures of the lovely work she did on my mom's shelf. Remember my mom's shelf? Mary stopped by this week.... Wait until you see what she did with it!!
Posted by Meg at 9:40 PM
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Time is flying by this week as I prepare for our move. Yesterday was a day spent in the city, seeing a friend for lunch, going to an appointment, meeting a former colleague for coffee. More goodbyes in the series of goodbyes that have been happening lately.
Today I am feeling more inspired than ever to get serious (finally) about my packing up and discarding. Is it too late to host a mini garage sale this weekend? I mean, mini - as in 4 hours or less? No it is not. There's a website devoted to sales in my areas. I just set up an account with the site and now I'm trying to decide if I should do Saturday 8-12 or Sunday 12-5.
So, I'm all organized (at least in my mind) and down to business - finally! But of course it's easy to let my mind wander from time to time. I'm thinking about our vacation all the time, playing that game, what was I doing at this time last week?
Today it is easy to know exactly what I was doing. Gearing up for team volleyball! There were 12 adults and 15 children in our house, so plenty of people were willing to play. Oh, to be back there right now!
Posted by Meg at 12:11 PM
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
...and frankly, I wish we were still away. Being away is a great thing, is it not? When you come home your mind says, Ah yes. Back to the real world.
Your real world may or may not include packing up your things, renting a truck, and moving out of state next week. But mine does.
I will do my best to capture our moving moments over the next several days. This blog could use a little spicing up, me thinks.
Take care, everybody, and hope you are enjoying August. :)
Posted by Meg at 3:52 PM