can and can't

I've seen this on a few blogs over the last few days...thank you for the inspiration for today's post.

Things I can do well.

1. Print. My handwriting can be very neat - if I try to make it so. I have to try, of course. Most of the time around here it's basic scrawl. Sometimes I find that it's been so long since I've written anything that when I do need to write, I find it kind of hard to do it for an extended period of time. You too?

2. Organize. Straighten. Arrange. Again, I have to be in the mood. But when the mood strikes, I like to get into this task. My mom used to have me organize her kitchen every time she and my dad moved because I always liked figuring out where pots and pans and dishes should go in a new space.

3. Speak in public. And get this, I actually like doing it! You meet so many people who dread it, but not me. Once upon a time I dreamed of a career as a broadcast journalist, but a stint as a production assistant with a local news channel convinced me otherwise. There were (and are) just too many things about that business that I don't like. So I took the moral high ground and instead pursued a career in advertising. Go figure.

4. Communicate. I like to keep in close touch with my family and friends, and I look at it almost as a job that I need to work on all the time - especially since we are all scattered about. I also have found that most misunderstandings between people can be traced back to a simple case of miscommunication...so it's important to keep those lines open and get the message out, loud and clear.

5. Listen. This is always challenging, and many times that I struggle to get it right. People often tell me I have a good memory, but I think it's due in part to the times when I've been an active listener. Not an easy task. Next time you want to try this, listen to someone speak and absorb what they say without letting your mind jump ahead to what you'll say when there's a pause in the conversation. You'll be surprised by how difficult this can be.


Things I can't do well.



1. Math. I am not good at it, but I've exaggerated my deficit in this area so much in my mind that I'm convinced I'm awful at it. Also, I get extremely nervous doing math - basic calculations - in front of people. Like, adding a tip on a receipt. I can do this without a problem if I'm by myself, but if I think people are looking at me, I freeze up. I have to shade my work with one hand so no one can see what I'm doing.


2. Financial planning. A sibling of #1. I can balance a checkbook (math phobia and all) but I cannot see in my mind a clear, sky-view map of creating a comprehensive financial plan. I don't know how to explain it other than to say that when it comes to creating plans in other areas of my life, I know exactly what to do and can intuitively find my way through the process - even if it is in an area I don't know well. But when it comes to long-range financial planning, I get very intimidated. This is what you pay people for, I guess.


3. Crafts. Don't laugh. I like to decorate my house, but I'm terrible at crafts. So many of you lovely readers have studios in your houses. We don't have that here...and if we did, what would I do with it? I can barely sew on a button. I tried knitting lessons a few years ago and after awhile it just wasn't working out. I'd like to try it again, I figure anyone can do it...but actually, is that true? The thing that would motivate me this time is finding a way to make myself Christmas stockings that look just like hers.


4. Throw and catch. I am beyond bad. I always feel a little embarrassed admitting this to my husband (as if it's not obvious) because he's very talented in this area. At a family picnic shortly before I got married, my brothers and I were throwing a football around when one of them suggested I try to throw with my left hand (because I'm a lefty). Then they all said it was better than my right, which I'd been using to throw since, oh, let's see - when I was about 3? Come to think of it, why was I throwing that football in the first place? at my picnic??


5. Letting go. I can be a bit of a control freak, especially when it comes to my house. Sometimes I wish I was one of those moms who could just relax and let the kids mess up everything, but I'm not. But actually, this doesn't bother me anymore. You take the good with the bad, and by and large, I'm happy being me.


My Tip.


This from the interpersonal communication major: don't be afraid to ask someone about their bad news, because they want to talk about it.


Many people believe that if someone has a problem - wife left, child sick, parent died, dog ran away, husband involved in scandal - that person does not want to talk about it, and it's better to wait for them to bring it up with you versus taking the chance in upsetting them by bringing it up first. This is a mistake. People are generally very happy to have an opportunity to respond to sincere inquiries about how they're doing. They want to talk to you, they want you to listen. They want a friend who isn't afraid to ask them about their terrible news. All it takes is a gentle "how are you doing with [obvious problem]?" and you can gauge by their answer how much or how little they want to share with you. Believe me, they do want to share. They'll let you know if they don't, but either way they'll love you for caring.