Monday, August 20, 2007

I'll miss you

My son starts kindergarten today. It is not a real first day, it's "meet & greet". Moms and Dads are invited along with the kids. We are invited to come to the classroom, meet the teacher (who I actually met last spring), see where everyone will sit, get a look at some of the other kids. It's very exciting but a little scary (for me, if not for him.) Technically we'll be there for only 20 minutes. But you know, it's the first day.

I am so very proud of my son. Working as hard as he has over the past 2 years has gotten him to this point...he's going to kindergarten with the other kids in the neighborhood, typically developing kids. It's the goal we've been working toward. He's excited, and all of the professionals we work with are confident in him. We know this year will be a challenge, but we also know that he can do it. It's going to be hard. He will be picked up by the bus at 7 to get to school at 8, and then be there until I pick him up at 2:30. He'll put in a half day at kindergarten, and another half day at a social skills program, where the curriculum focuses exclusively on interacting with peers. From what we've heard, it's a wonderful program, and so this is a terrific opportunity for him. As I said, it's won't be easy. But he can do it. If anyone can, I know he can! I have all the confidence in the world in him.

But still....there's a little voice inside me...it says don't go! Stay with me a little longer! Just stay with me, no one has to know. I'll figure out a way to keep you 5 years old forever. We'll keep going to the pool, and we'll play on the swings, and I'll jump with you on the trampoline, and you can play on the computer as much as you want. And we'll go to the park, and eat picnics on the hill like you like, and drive around with the windows down listening to Elmo and the Orchestra. I'd do it! I'd do it for an eternity for you. Just...don't go.

25 comments:

Rosemary said...

Oh,so happy and so sad at the same time.
He will be great!!! You will too!!
You can both do it!
Have a great day, both of you!
Rosemary

lisagh said...

I think you're both going to do great! Good luck!

Libby said...

What a big day! I hope it was a wonderful one for both of you. :)

suburban prep said...

Quite the big day.
Best for this day and all the days to come.

Kellie said...

Good luck! My daughter starts kindergarten two weeks from tomorrow, and next week is her orientation. It's exciting, sad, scary and wonderful all at the same time. I know the second she steps foot in that school the years will start flying by at a rapid speed, so I too am clinging to the hope that she'll stay 5 forever. But that doesn't seem practical, does it? Oh well, a mom can dream... Best wishes to your little one on his big day!

jilly said...

Oh Meg, I have tears, so hard, be strong, I know you can, he is being brave for you ya know.

My favorite days are the days I get to go and surprise my niece and nephews for lunch or to be the guest reader. Then again my favorite days are the days I get to see their smiling faces. Aren't we all so lucky to have those little faces in our lives. Thanks for sharing!

Now, where is the weekly picture of our house? We need to see some progress ;)

BeeBee said...

Hi - I love your blog! But I just read about you feeding the aligators! You SHOULD NEVER FEED ALIGATORS! First, I believe it is illegal. More importantly, it socializes them to expect food from people. They can (and do) attack people and small animals. A socialized aligator needs to be captured and destoyed. Aligators, by nature, don't want anything to do with people. It is usually when people get themselves involved that people or aligators get hurt. Keep on blogging!

BeeBee said...

Hi - I love your blog! But I just read about you feeding the aligators! You SHOULD NEVER FEED ALIGATORS! First, I believe it is illegal. More importantly, it socializes them to expect food from people. They can (and do) attack people and small animals. A socialized aligator needs to be captured and destoyed. Aligators, by nature, don't want anything to do with people. It is usually when people get themselves involved that people or aligators get hurt. Keep on blogging!

BeeBee said...

Ack! I'm so sorry if I sent that a million times! I rarely post...

Lisa said...

I have been thinking of you all day today. It will be such a great year...for both of you. He will change and grow but that means you will just get to see even more of the little boy you love.

navybluegirl said...

Sounds like he's doing fantastic!!!

velvet brick said...

Aww... this is always a sentimental time. I have a new group of 1st graders - two with autism and one with emotional disturbances. We have an awesome program at our school and my kiddos all make for a wonderful 'family'..!! It's always a step when your little one goes to school... and the Big K, no less! Congratulations on all of the hard work you have all made! You'll see him have a wonderful year! : )
VB

Belle-ah said...

Ok, I didn't want to cry today but there ya go and made me! My ds2 just started kindergarten and I am still adjusting...he is fine...I am still working on fine. (((hugs)))

Bethany Hissong said...

It's tough for me every year my kids go back to school... you get so used to the company at home! I helped a lot in my kids' Kindergarten classroom... you get to know the other kids well and the teacher, and the other parents too. I didn't feel so disconnected that way. Your son will learn a million things this year...he's still at the "sponge brain" years, where everything is turned into a learning experience. And there will still be days off when you guys can have special times together too! You're a great mom!

hqm said...

Big day for both of you! I am sure you will both make out just fine!

sisters with style said...

It's bitter-sweet isn't it? It's hard b/c you can't turn back the hands of time but at the same time you know it's best for him. You should be so proud of your little guy! He's going to do great and so are you!

tulipmom said...

Oh Meg, this post brought tears to my eyes. It sounds like your son has made so much progress in the past 2 years.

And while kindergarten is a big step for all kids and parents (my son starts on Monday) there is something extra special about seeing our kids reach this milestone when just a few years back it seemed almost impossible. And that urge to hold onto our kids and keep them 5 or 6 forever .... sure, all parents feel it. But for me at least, it's not just about stopping time; it's also about preventing or prolonging the teasing or bullying I fear will show its ugly face at some point during his school years. I don't want anything or anyone to chip away at my son's hard-earned self-esteem. I suppose all I or any of us can do is try to surround our kids with as many positive people as possible.

I'll be thinking of you both tomorrow and hoping your son has a great first day. He is so lucky to have you in his corner.

Meg said...

TulipMom - yes, that's exactly why I have felt so anxious about this foray into the "real world". The past 2 years have been intense for him, but he's been surrounded by children who are like him and who have similar 'quirks' :). Tomorrow the bubble is officially broken. I know the real world needs to and must creep into our lives in order for us all and especially him to thrive, but it doesn't mean that I still don't want to shield him from all of it, for even a tiny bit longer. He'll be out there on his own...but as you said, there are people around to look out for him and help him, and all I can do is hope and pray for the best. Thanks so much for your thoughtful message. You really do understand exactly.

LivingTheLife said...

Meg~
I just read your post about your sweet son starting kindergarten and how you feel like keepin him 5 for a bit longer, and how you want to protect him just a moment longer from the world we live in...just remember...he has worked very hard and has accomplished milestones...he has a wonderful supportive mom and family...and it sounds like a wonderful program at the school that mainstreams children w/learning differences....I love that for him in so many ways...he will learn more from them...but even more so THEY will learn from him...mark my words...he will teach many things to many people...he will be a blessing...just as he has been to you and your family for the past 5 years...he's gonna do GREAT...give yourself some time, too...you'll be a pro before long...

I'll be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers in the weeks and days to come...

My son dosen't have autism and I could never know all you guys have been through... however, my son is dyslexic...he had many challenges in front of him (especially in our public schools)...and self esteem was one of them...b/c he felt so different, he is so smart, but he had great difficulty with reading, spelling and such...which led to problems in other subjects...we put him in private school (for 5 years) and they did wonders for him...he eventually mainstreamed back into public school with a whole new set of learning tools...He still can't spell that great...but he is a great chef now...after graduating college and The Culinary Institute of America...we thought this may never happen...but we were wrong....he is happy and he knows he is loved...and I know your son has that same love and support.

Blessings...
"T"

Lallee said...

Meg, I'm sorry I missed THE day, but you and your son are in my thoughts for each of the school days. You have done so wonderfully working with him. You have given him all that you can, and God will hold up the ends where you are not able to be with him. I know I hate getting out of my comfort zones, so I understand from that perspective. I'm on the sidelines with pom-poms cheering both of you on. Go team!

yellowfarmhouse said...

As a Mom of 2 grown boys, I was so touched by your post. It brought back those memories of the first day of school and how I hated to let them go. Heck I cried when I dropped my "baby" off for his first day of middle school. Will he get lost in that big school, will he have anyone to eat lunch with. All those little worries I had. I even had to read your post to hubby. I saw him blink a little extra - he's a softy when it comes to his kids and this just brought back a couple of memories for him also.
Thanks for sharing - karen

Ladybug said...

I have one more year with my son at home and I am already crying at your post. Good Luck to you and your son. I use to teach K and he will LOVE it!

Espresso Girlie said...

I don't know how I missed this entry, but after the week I had, you just put into words what is in my heart. My baby didn't go to kindergarten, he went to the first grade. His first day was yesterday. When I came home I cried myself to sleep and managed to sleep most of the day. Today was better and he only cried a few tears on the way in the door. My heart goes out to you as I am feeling just what you are.
Suzann

Stitcher S said...

What a sweet entry. I am getting my classroom ready for my new group of students, and I know what parents go through having been there myself before I was a teacher!

My 'baby' is now 21, and when he started preschool his teacher gave us a poem about a little boy going off to school. I wish I could find that one now. It's so, so hard to let go at times.

Thanks for sharing the pics, too. What a cute classroom. Sue

Susie Q said...

Your post gives me such hope! My 4 year old nephew just began classes in an intensive learning center just for children with Autism.
We are all so excited but he is still so scared each day when Mommy drops him off. Of course, by the time Auntie Sue (Me!) picks him up, he is just fine and smiling!

I know this is a bittersweet time but how proud you must be. I live for the day Brady can move on into a Kindergarten. I am so happy for your sweet son. This is a HUGE accomplishment!

I too have those days that I want to wrap up my 9 year old daughter and keep her with me watching High School Musical and having tea parties...

Hugs to you all,
Sue